To honor Mother's Day, we are featuring "Mother's Mantras" of three moms in our community (me included.) From responding to our children with attachment in mind to the times we need to take a moment to remind ourselves of our self-worth as well as the beauty our children will bring to this big beautiful world in their own way.
Jo Hammon
As a mother and an artist, I once designed a necklace that said these three words, "Mother. Daughter. Sister." We are all at least one if not all three. We are each included in the tribes of Motherhood and Sisterhood, whether it be actual sisters or friends, and we are all daughters of God, the Universe and the world.
Our children learn from how we live, what we teach them, and what they watch happen in their own worlds. It is up to us as to what we expose them to, protect them from and in which direction to guide them. The manual they gave us at the hospital was very helpful, right? What would we have done without that? It sure helped me get nowhere since such a manual doesn't exist.
My North Star as a mother has always been to watch, to listen, to learn from my own two children. I watched them find their way in school, which classes they enjoyed or excelled in, their strengths and talents in sports, activities, etc. I listened to their excitement and disappointments or worries and watched them grow in the next natural direction of their journey.
I never forced the "obligatory" piano lesson practice and actually had a mom ask me at my daughter's lessons, "How do you not have daily fights about practicing?" My response was that there are no fights, Jaye enjoys playing. She eventually progressed from piano lessons to songwriting and moved into a music school. It was obvious that she had outgrown the lesson books and wanted to move on from classical into modern. She still loves music.
I could tell my son was struggling with managing football and his grades and he wanted to focus on track so I encouraged a conversation with his coach and he finished strong in both his grades and track in his Junior and Senior year. But it's not about the sports practices or activities in life - it is about taking the temperature of their enthusiasm and teaching our kids that it's okay to pivot and change course. It's simply a natural progression.
When my son graduated from high school, he wrote me a letter thanking me for always "making sure he was okay" no matter what was going on in my day. He comically apologized for getting mad at me for not buying Fruity Pebbles cereal and instead insisting on natural healthy food. And last but not least he thanked me for always expecting that he do the "next right thing."
Jana Graham
Now that my kids are growing into young adults, I feel that motherhood has taken on a whole new life. I have enjoyed each stage of the journey so far and am looking forward to what’s next. I have 3 boys ages 19, 16 and 15. They are awesome kids, and I am so blessed to be their mom. I was asked about my parenting style recently. I think it would be considered laid back, but my approach isn’t. I try hard to be a very intentional parent when it comes to teaching my kids and can only hope they learn the lessons they need when they need them. For example, I have had some personal medical issues over the last 10 years, and I believe that this has shown my sons how to persevere and keep a good attitude even when faced with adversity.
One of the things that I have taken to heart is something my mother-in-law told me when my kids were young. She said to get involved with whatever your kids do. She is (aside from my own mom) one of the wisest women I know! So, I got involved and got out of my comfort zone to do the things. Be the one that helps so you know what is going on and your kids know you know. Aside from knowing what is going on, I have truly developed some amazing friendships through volunteering my time to help with my kids’ activities. Some of my favorite people in the world are people I have met through PTO, Team Mom, Room Mom, Quarterback Club, Highlander Homerun Club, Confirmation Leader at church, etc. What I have found is that these are the moms who also value their families and want to show their kids that they need to give back to the community. I am so grateful for this advice, and I am still volunteering even with my college kid!
Being the mom of older kids is awesome. You can begin to see the fruits of your labor as you are able to have adult conversations, meet their friends, see the decisions they are making. I think this stage is my favorite so far! Whatever the stage, being Aidan, Colin and Brady’s mom is the BIGGEST JOY AND PRIVILEGE of my life!
Missy Herndon
MaMa, Mommy, Mom, Friend. I am the very proud momma to three incredible boys: Will, 21, Steele, 19 and Magnus, 15.
In the beginning of my motherhood journey, we had a goal of raising tough, well-loved boys. I preached to them from a very young age, God blessed them with the greatest gift… EACH OTHER! They were “Best Brothers” and brothers take care of each other. When my oldest son Will was diagnosed with a rare, degenerative brain condition, juvenile Batten disease, this mantra became more important than ever. My boys being happy and healthy became our focus, and while I believe in rules; order was secondary. A diagnosis of a terminal disease taught us what truly mattered.
I had to adapt my mothering to adjust to our “road less traveled” home life. With an ill child at home and our HOPE fundraising efforts to help support a medical discovery to save him in full swing through their childhood, our boys were often in front of a lot of people, talking about very adult challenges from a young age. They became resilient, strong and courageous in ways that most may never experience. Steele and Magnus lead by example, showing others how to treat Will and others with challenges. My “Be Kind” mantra was personified through their actions.
As my boys got older, I found myself instilling things in them that sustain and inspire me daily: Hold onto your Faith, Believe in HOPE and Love Big. I credit our fight to save Will as our biggest example for my children, because they lived it. We are grateful for our community which showed the boys that a group of committed people, with a lot of faith, can make a positive change in the world. “Believing all things are possible” remains a steadfast mantra in our home.
When my two older sons graduated last year from High School, I reflected on their lifetime of memories. I found myself reminiscing through photos of my three little boys who now tower over me. I had to continue to remind myself…I was there for every single day. From their first smile in the middle of the night feeding as infants, to their biggest triumphs in life. I have been the first voice they heard nearly every morning as they got out of bed and the last voice they heard every evening as they got into bed. My boys are the greatest gifts in my life, and my greatest honor is being their Mom and now, Friend.
"It's not about the sports practices or activities in life - it is about taking the temperature of their enthusiasm and teaching our kids that it's okay to pivot and change course. It's simply a natural progression." Jo
