In a culture that’s embraced mental health language almost flippantly, there’s hardly a concept that’s become more watered down and misused than “self-care”. Be honest, what really comes to mind? Usually our first thoughts are: indulgence, distraction, escaping duty. No wonder we don’t make time for it; it feels useless and irresponsible.
But truly taking care of yourself—mentally and emotionally—is a necessary discipline. Here’s how to make it count.
Journal
Yes, you should journal. The point is not to vent to your diary; it’s to clarify your awareness and direction. Genuine self-care is always about realigning ourselves to who we really are and want to be.
When our chosen method of false “care” is escapism, it tells me that some important component of life feels disconnected from your true self.
Have you defined for yourself who you are and what you’re here to do? I know those are big questions. Just start with your first thoughts. It doesn’t have to be the answer you keep forever. But notice what you write, and now you have context to explore your choices, relationships, and pursuits.
As you go, notice the voice you use to narrate the different parts of your life. What do you notice about the way you describe your relationships, your setbacks, your dreams? Are there any other voices in you that have something to say about it, too? We rarely feel singularly about anything.
With the holidays fresh behind us, don’t be surprised if there’s a lot that wants to be heard. The rule with writing is, get it out first and decide what’s important once it’s on the page.
Change Your Relationship to Discipline
We don’t like to hear it. Don’t you dare say anything to me about how I’m eating, spending, using my time, talking to my partner, etc. And yes, a lot of that feedback has come ill-intended or just undisciplined in its own way. But I’ve realized it’s so easy for me to use that as my excuse to settle into a cozy spot of resentment and feel unobligated to do better.
Your discipline, however, is first and foremost about your relationship with you. How you attend to your health, finances, relationships—it’s all an agreement. You are agreeing with one story or another about who you are.
I’m not suggesting you go all-in on one of these kicks where people take one aspect of discipline to the extreme and act like it makes them better than other people. This is a failure. But you can find one thing to do differently to speak to that person you want to be.
Make your bed. Not because you should—do it for the person who’s coming home tired to that room tonight. Do it so when they walk in they are greeted by order and readiness that says, “you are valuable.”
Don’t do it because you feel bad. Do it as a choice to believe you deserve it. (You’ll notice I didn’t say that because you feel like you deserve it).
Do You Need Therapy?
I can’t not be biased, but I truly believe everyone can benefit from therapy—which isn’t the same as saying everyone needs it.
Therapy is for the places we get stuck. Perhaps even reading the suggestions in this article, you encountered parts of yourself that were offended, resistant, cynical, even as another part of you wished you could take it to heart. You liked the idea and knew right away you wouldn’t do it. That could be one.
Here are examples of when to think about counseling:
My emotions are overwhelming, and I don’t know why.
I keep doing what’s not working.
I know the past is affecting me, but I don’t know what to do about it.
I’m having an experience I don’t think others have or understand.
I know I need a change, but I have no idea what it could be.
I keep having thoughts that frighten me.
Not every therapist is right for everybody. Don’t be afraid to shop around and test us out. We know what the process is like.
A Word on Personality Tests
Despite how the language gets obfuscated sometimes, I’m glad people are familiarizing themselves with concepts surrounding mental health. I hardly see a new client these days who hasn’t ‘found out’ their Enneagram number, Myers-Briggs personality type, attachment style, or something else.
These can be helpful in starting the exploration, but remember that what you have is not a formal assessment. It also shouldn’t restrict how you think about yourself and what’s possible. Use what you find helpful and hold it loosely.
If you’re looking to dig deeper and write a new chapter in 2026, it’s totally free to come in for a consultation. Come get the vibe at Comeback Story Counseling, and see if it’s the right place to find the support you need, or we can help you find the place that will be.
Free consultations are bookable online at www.NocoStory.com, or call our office (970) 316-3939.
"Genuine self-care is always about realigning ourselves to who we really are and want to be."
“Discipline is first and foremost about your relationship with you. How you attend to your health, finances, relationships—it’s all an agreement.”