When you're a kid, you think your parents know everything. The're superheroes who can solve any problem, from a skinned knee to a broken bike. But as you get older, you realize they aren't superheroes at all, they’re just flawed humans doing the best they can to take care of you. They get tired, they get angry, and they make mistakes.
As I gathered stories for this Gratefulness issue, I asked myself what I am most grateful for right now. Beyond the usual items, health, a home, kid(s), one simple idea rose to the top: I am grateful for my mother. She is my friend and confidant, someone who will always be honest with me, even when I don’t want to hear it. At 85, she isn't perfect, but she still tries to be, constantly encouraging others to do the same. She was nicknamed "Pinky" after a racehorse. But she is the most conservative person I know.
We often still view our parents as the fun police, when we should see them as devoted caregivers and mentors passing down hard-fought wisdom. A psychologist once said you can either blame your parents for everything wrong in your life, or forgive them for being human, take responsibility for your own actions, and move forward.
Forgive your mother for being human. I bet she spent a lot of time and effort making sure you came out okay. And you probably did. Mission accomplished! My mother can be judgmental, stubborn, and terrified of technology. But she is also incredibly compassionate. Over the years, she took in homeless people, priests, and foster children. She goes to church daily and even worked at prison ministry, bravely sharing her faith with felons. If you sat next to her on a plane you were going to hear about Jesus like it or not.
She lovingly raised six kids who had a positive impact on the world. She made thousands of home cooked meals and usually did the dishes. She was a debutante raised in a mansion who danced with a prince, yet she fiercely loved the poor, good man she married within a storybook romance. She waterskied into her seventies. She was a gifted painter and her favorite movie was Breakfast at Tiffany's. She was a beautiful young woman, and she became a beautiful grandmother.
If your mom is still around, give her a hug for me and thank her for doing her best and being your mom.