“Just be grateful.” “Look on the bright side.” “Think about everything you have.” “It can be so much worse.”
If you’re having a hard day, those phrases can feel less than helpful. As a psychologist, I talk about gratitude a lot and would never suggest that gratitude means ignoring the difficult parts of your life because gratitude and a difficult day can coexist.
However, I believe there is something powerful about intentionally noticing what is going right, especially when life feels hard, busy, stressful, or overwhelming.
One of my favorite positive psychology practices is called Three Good Things. It is incredibly simple to do. At the end of the day, write down three things that went well and why they happened. That’s it.
They don’t have to be big things. In fact, I think the small things are often the best.
Maybe your child gave you an unexpectedly sweet hug, you finished something you had been putting off, or you simply had five quiet minutes to yourself.
But I think this practice can be meaningful for another reason: it changes what we notice.
When you know you are going to write down three good things at the end of the day, you may start noticing and embracing what you are grateful for while it's happening.
This is where gratitude becomes more than a journal exercise; it becomes presence.
Three Good Things gives us a small opportunity to practice something different. It doesn't ask us to pretend everything is wonderful. It asks us to notice that beauty, kindness or positivity can exist even on an imperfect day.
So this Thanksgiving season, I invite you to try it. For one week, before bed, write down three good things from your day. Don't overthink it. And after each one, ask yourself: Why did this happen?
Maybe you’ll discover that your three good things are not things that happened to you. Maybe they are things you helped create. And maybe, by the end of the week, you’ll find yourself noticing those moments before you ever put them on paper.
Because gratitude isn’t about waiting for a perfect day.
It’s about learning to recognize the good that is already there.